There is a spirit in the house that is neither me nor Messelfir. He has rights to the place, I dont contest that, but he is fucking up my capacity for restfulness.
I have nightmares,or atleast anxiety ridden dreams. A field of harvested potatoes swarming with rats.
Before I went to bed I was trying to sleep and I saw this prismatic flash in my pre-dream vision. Beautiful really, a crystalline cut-diamond blur. I think he was trying to assert himself in some way. I wanted to sympathize but you really have to be careful. I mean they're often in that state because they are so deeply unfulfilled. So deeply deeply needy. And before you know it they've moved in and you're carrying around their sadness. I'm not good at setting boundaries.
I turned the light on until i felt more secure, then slept. Then rat dream.
Messelfir is on hiatus but i know she's around. In the mean time I need to get my shit together. This place is getting pre-hoarders.